Artist: Fake Problems
Single: The Dream Team Rumble In The Jungle
Label: SideOneDummy
Date: 2009
Rating: 1/5

If you’re feeling a bit low in the mid winter bite, have a listen to Fake Problems new single, ‘The Dream Team Rumble In The Jungle’ – it’s laughable. Otherwise it’s annoying, depending on which way you look at it. Fake problems are a hobo’s Greenday – indie/punk-pop with little going for it. All you’re in for is a predictable chinking indie riff and the most god-damn awful lyrics you’re likely to hear this side of r ‘n’ b.

The rhythm is akin to an advert jingle knocked up in half an hour by a frustrated musician on his mobile phone, simple, basic, boring – but even then, Fake Problems can’t come up with lyrics to fit the tune. Thirty seconds in you’ll hear the mistimed strain of “Will you hang on to every word I speak/From noooow ooon.” It’s round about now you’ll start laughing. And it gets worse.

“You know when you’re good and you know when you’re not/And right now baby I am near the top,” is a classic example of writing down the first words that come into your head and rhyming it with something – if you get my bling! To sum up Fake Problems have got no dignity – or they don’t realise they’re shit. Still, I’m sure they’ll find an audience of like minded people who also don’t realise they’re listening to shit.

For the rest of you, please move along, there’s nothing to see here.

- Richard Oldale